


wake-up call

by peroxideprncss



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, maiko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peroxideprncss/pseuds/peroxideprncss
Summary: in which an attempt on Zuko's life forces Mai to re-examine her emotions
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 206





	wake-up call

**Author's Note:**

> **cw: mention of violence**  
>  I'm an unashamed Maiko stan, so here's me (eventually) giving them the happy ending they deserve. they're so stubborn, I figure it would take something really drastic to get them to wake up. this takes place sometime after Imbalance, so spoilers for that if you haven't read any of the comics.

Mai wasn’t sure why she was always mildly shocked to hear news of Zuko from customers in the shop, rather than straight from him. After all, they’d been broken up for quite a while now, and even though they were on fair terms, it’s not like they spoke every day. Or even every week. In fact, it had been longer than that since she’d heard directly from the Fire Lord himself.

Nevertheless, Mai constantly tried to remind herself that it wasn’t anything personal, the customers bringing Zuko up – rather, just citizens speaking of their nation’s leader, as easily as discussing the weather or an upcoming event. She would respond in her usual way, half-listening and offering only single words back. As of late, it did make her heart ache just a bit more, especially after breaking up with Kei Lo. She was lonely, and longing for…something. She never let herself think about it much more than that – she was convinced it had been the right decision for both her and Zuko to move on from their relationship; and as kind as Kei Lo had been to her, she knew she could never really love him the way he was starting to love her. Mai was stuck in limbo with her own conflicting feelings, and didn’t want to figure out how to untangle them quite yet.

Unfortunately, one grey morning as she helped tidy the shop for opening, Mai would have to face her emotions head on. A regular customer came in as soon as the doors were open, as he usually did, to regale the latest neighborhood gossip to the other shop employees. Mai paid him no mind, snipping stems and only hearing bits and pieces of the conversation – but once she heard “Fire Lord”, she tuned back in, listening more intently.

“…Fire Lord was attacked by an assassin last night!”

“What?” Mai nearly shouted, her head suddenly snapping up. The customer continued.

“Apparently the intruder was so quiet, the Fire Lord himself didn’t detect his presence until the blade had pierced his skin.”

That last phrase had Mai even more on edge – _the blade had pierced his skin_. There were constant rumors of attackers foiled by the palace guards outside the gates, unable to reach the young leader, but this one got in? And managed to hurt Zuko? She took a sharp breath before asking,

“Is he okay?”

The brief moment that passed after the words left her lips felt like an eternity. Mai felt as if she was suspended in midair, and the answer would determine whether or not she landed on her feet.

“He’s alive,” the customer said sadly, “But no one knows much more than that right now. And what’s worse, this mystery attacker disappeared as quickly as they came! Slipped right past every guard and watch. Even those Kyoshi girls couldn’t grab ‘em in time!”

Mai let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding when she heard “alive”, but her body was still tense with fear. Suddenly, the building wave of her inner conflict came crashing over her all at once. Any of the lingering resentment she had felt for Zuko long ago when she left him was washed away by a tsunami of love, fear, and guilt. She wondered if she had been there, sharing that bed with him like she used to, if she could’ve stopped him from getting hurt.

Mai finally moved from her stoic position after a single tear wetting her cheek brought her out of her trance. She quickly wiped it away, cursing herself for being so vulnerable in front of a stranger, but they had long moved on in their conversation. Mai muttered something about taking a break before rushing out of the shop toward the palace.

It was no surprise that the gates were flooded with citizens, mourning either Zuko’s pain or the assassin’s failure. The atmosphere in the Fire Nation was still contentious, but Mai didn’t care about the politics of it all right now. She just needed to get through. Unfortunately for her, the guard staff was doubled and still as stone. She started to give up hope, until she saw a familiar face among them.

“Ty Lee!” Mai rushed toward her friend, shoving her way through the crowd as she called out her name. The painted warrior quickly locked eyes with her, and drew her into a tight embrace once she arrived.

“I heard,” Mai said, her voice faltering slightly, “Is he okay? What’s going on?”

“Not here,” Ty Lee comforted her quietly, “We don’t want to cause a panic. Come with me.” The girl led her friend through the gate, the statuesque guards parting just enough for them to pass through before re-forming their human barricade. She led them to the courtyard garden where they had often played together as children, and sat her gently below the shade of a large tree.

“Zuko is alive,” Ty Lee reassured Mai, still speaking in a slightly hushed tone, “But I have to be honest – he’s in pretty bad shape.” The normally cheerful demeanor on her friend’s face was grim, and Mai felt the fear and guilt rise in her once again.

“How could this happen?” Mai asked in disbelief, and her friend’s face fell into shame.

“I don’t know,” Ty Lee responded, her voice growing thick with sorrow, “It’s our job to protect him; we’re supposed to be the best. But we were outsmarted at every turn. I’m sorry.”

Mai took her friend in her arms once again, her own tears falling as she comforted Ty Lee. She hadn’t meant for her question to be accusatory, and perhaps Ty Lee hadn’t taken it that way, but it’s clear she had plenty of her own guilt that weighed heavy. After a strong hug, Mai spoke once again with hesitation.

“Can…I see him?” Mai whispered, prepared to hear “no” in response. However, Ty Lee looked up at her with the slightest glimmer of determination.

“I’ll get you to him, Mai,” was all she said.

* * *

It was clear that visitors weren’t currently being permitted into the Fire Lord’s chambers, by how heavily guarded the room was. Luckily for the women, growing up here gave them the advantage when it came to sneaking around. They were about to devise their plan to get into the room, when the door opened slightly and a familiar figure emerged.

“He’s speaking,” Iroh’s voice was hoarse and tired. “He’s asking for Mai.”

Hearing this made Mai’s heart swell, partially with hope, and partially with the guilt that she’d come to befriend this morning. New tears threatened to fall before the guards began to speak.

“Find Lady Mai,” one of them ordered, sending another few down the hall away from them. He then turned his attention to Iroh, “Let us know immediately if he says anything else, particularly about the attacker.” Iroh simply nodded before turning to close the door.

“I’m here,” Mai called down the hall, startling the men as she seemed to appear out of thin air. As she drew closer to the room, she tried to steady her voice, repeating “I’m here.”

Iroh nodded solemnly as he opened the door for her, allowing her to enter first. She hesitated at the threshold. The man placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, encouraging her into the room.

Mai gasped softly when she took in the scene – it was clear that Zuko hadn’t been able to be moved at all from his bed, the sheets below him soaked dark with blood. He lay pale and trembling as a few servants tenderly dressed the wound in his abdomen.

“Mai,” Zuko’s voice weakly called out. Only then did Mai notice that his eyes were closed. He hadn’t seen her enter the room, rather, he was simply speaking her name into the air as if it would will her to appear beside him.

Mai swallowed her tears as she tried to steady herself to approach him. She gingerly took one of his hands in hers, flinching at the cold sweat that covered his skin. She took a trembling breath before hoarsely whispering,

“I’m here.”

* * *

For the next few days, Mai refused to leave Zuko’s side. The first night, all he said was her name, almost like he was pleading for her, and it broke her heart to even think about releasing his hand from her grip. She, Iroh, and Ursa kept silent vigil over his fragile form, watching his chest weakly rise and fall as if its movements were dependent on their gaze. Even the slightest blink would betray this balance, so they let the bags grow heavy under their eyes. They sat in the tense air as the moon fell and the sun rose around them.

The next morning, the Avatar had arrived, flying directly into the room’s window on his glider. He would occasionally open his mouth to say something, but couldn’t find any words that felt right. So he simply joined in the watch over his friend. The only movement after that was from the servants that arrived every few hours to clean and change Zuko’s bandages. The first time Mai saw the raw, ugly wound unwrapped, she caught a scream in her throat, which turned into heaving sobs. It was the only sound to break the silence.

After another few days, each of which had felt like a year in length, the Water Tribe girl arrived, her brother in tow. She explained through steady tears that her delay had been caused by a detour to the North in order to collect some special spirit water. She locked eyes with Mai when she finished her statement:

“Healing Aang with this water brought him back, so it should do the same for Zuko. It has to.”

Mai kept her eyes locked on the Fire Lord’s pale face as the glow of the healing water illuminated it slightly. She searched desperately for some sign – a grimace, a groan, any sort of reaction. His lids remained shut, but his breathing steadily became just a little more even. She gently patted the sweat from his forehead before caressing his cheek.

“Please wake up,” she begged, her voice nearly inaudible. The group continued their somber vigil until long after the sun had set.

* * *

After nearly two weeks, Zuko was slowly improving. He still hadn’t opened his eyes, but now when he called out for Mai and she answered, he seemed to hear her. She stayed by his side through every visitor that was allowed to trickle into the room, aided the servants in moving him from the bed to finally change out the sheets, and keeping her grip on his hand like a vise. Iroh, who had become just as much of a fixture in the room as Mai, constantly reminded both her and Ursa to rest. He had started retiring to his own bed after the first few grueling nights, knowing that the toll it had taken was much greater than he may have felt in his younger years. A few nights later, Ursa gave into her own exhaustion as well, letting her husband guide her to their own room, even if for just a couple hours.

Every night, once they were alone, Mai would lay beside Zuko. She gave up trying to sleep nights ago, because she knew she wouldn’t be able to really rest.

“I wish I could talk to you,” she spoke softly after he had called her name once again. “I just want to know you’re okay.”

Each night, she began to speak more and more to Zuko, and hoped he could hear her and understand. She started with apologizing – for anything she could think of.

“I’m sorry I left,” she whispered, no tears to break her voice – they had dried up days ago.

“I feel like this is my fault,” was another phrase Mai kept repeating, “Maybe if I had been here, things would be different.”

Once her apologies were all voiced, and the wave of her guilt pulled back just a bit, she started to wade through the waters of her other emotions. She told him how scared she was to lose him – not just now, but constantly, and how that fear made her push herself away from him in a deluded form of self-preservation. Of course there were other issues – the secrets, the lack of communication – but maybe, she thought, if she had been more vulnerable with him…

“I still love you, Zuko,” Mai stated as the first light of morning peeked through the window, “And…I always will.”

“Mai?” Zuko’s voice echoed once again, but this time it was different. Instead of the abstract call it had been, it was now a groggy question. Her eyes widened as she realized his were blinking open.

“Zuko,” Mai sighed, taking her first real breath for, what felt like, the first time in weeks. “I’m here, Zuko.”

* * *

The following weeks of recovery were trying for everyone, especially Zuko, who carried not only the physical weight of his injury, but the emotional weights as well. He felt as though he’d failed somehow, not just his nation, but himself. He blamed himself for simply resting, and therefore refused to sleep until he physically couldn’t keep awake.

Mai remained by his side constantly, especially at night. Neither of them could rest, Zuko wracking his mind with guilt, and Mai fearing the worst if she let him out of her sight. They lay in bed side by side, night after night, torturing themselves silently. That is, until one night, Mai broke the silence.

“Before you woke up, all I wanted to do was hear your voice,” she spoke in a low voice, as if the heavy stillness would lash out at her for breaking it. “Please talk to me.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Zuko asked sharply, his voice still raspy from weeks of neglect, “I’m so bad at being Fire Lord, I can’t even get assassinated right. This just proves how weak of a leader I really am. Everyone would be better off if –”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Mai’s voice was the sharp one now, as she turned toward Zuko and propped herself up on her elbow. “Don’t.” Hot tears burned her eyes as she desperately tried to lock her gaze with his. He kept his eyes averted.

“But it’s true,” he said, melancholy coloring his voice, “Ever since I took the throne, everything has been a mess. Not just the nations, but my whole life. I haven’t been able to do anything right.” His eyes finally locked with hers. “I couldn’t even love you right.”

Mai’s heart was already broken, but that delivered the final devastating blow. She turned from him, letting the tears fall quietly. Shortly after, she pretended to fall asleep. There was so much she wanted to say, but no idea where to even begin, or how to put words to what she was feeling. She desperately wanted to turn back the clock – to the day of his coronation, to their vacation on Ember Island, to any one of the memories she clung to where she was allowed to find solace in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” was the last thing Zuko whispered that night.

* * *

The next morning, just as the sun began to rise, Mai realized she had fallen into a light sleep when she was woken by a loud thud. She shot up straight, looking over to see that the spot Zuko had been occupying was empty. She panicked before hearing a groan echo from the washroom.

“Zuko?” she asked anxiously, rushing to the source of the sound. A million visions flooded her thoughts, of the attacker sneaking back in to finish the job, before she discovered him slumped against the wall just inside the doorway.

“Zuko,” she repeated, quickly crouching next to him, “Are you alright? What happened?” She reached out to touch him, but he weakly swatted her away.

“I’m _fine_ ,” he lied, his tone betraying him, “I just wanted to get out of that damn bed.”

“You could’ve asked for help,” Mai sighed, still feeling the sting of his rejection.

“I don’t want help,” he spat back, “I don’t want to _need_ help. I want to do things on my own again. I don’t want to be so weak.”

“Stop being so stubborn,” Mai retorted, losing her patience, “You’re not going to recover overnight. And we both knew you weren’t going to win over the entire _nation_ overnight, either. Stop acting like you’re the first leader to be attacked – it’s not some great personal failure that you alone have to bear.”

“How, Mai?!” Zuko was shouting now, “How is this not a _perfect example_ of how I’ve failed?” Mai simply shook her head, willing the tears in her eyes not to fall. She had wanted to be here to support him, to help him heal – but she could see that he didn’t want that.

“I’m not going to sit here and argue with you anymore,” she struggled to keep her voice from shaking, “I can’t – you won’t even listen to me anyway. I should go.” Mai rose from her position, turning to walk away. She crossed back into the bedroom, and was halfway to the door, when she heard the leader begin to cry.

“Please, Mai,” Zuko sobbed, “I’m sorry. I just don’t…I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what I even _need_ to do right now. But…I know that…I need you. I – I’m so sorry.”

Mai paused, but didn’t turn around. She let her own tears fall quietly, taking a steady breath before responding.

“Then start acting like it,” she demanded softly, “You’ve never fully let me in. How can I be here for you when you won’t even tell me everything? I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on with you. You need me? Then _prove it_.”

The tension hung heavily around them, neither of them moving in the wake of Mai’s words. Finally, after the longest few minutes, Zuko spoke.

“I’ve never stopped loving you, Mai. I couldn’t, even if I had wanted to. I even tried to convince myself that I’d wanted to. But…I can’t. You mean so much – you mean everything to me. Please stay…”

Mai turned around in time to see him begin to struggle to his feet. Her tears began to fall hot and fast as she rushed to his side, helping him rise. She engulfed him in a strong, but gentle, embrace, still mindful of his injuries.

“Okay,” she whispered, “I’ll stay.”

“Thank you,” he whispered back, his voice still thick with tears, “Thank you.”

* * *

Zuko’s recovery began to speed up over the next month. First, he was able to sit up on his own with ease, then stand, and then he was able to walk for a little while with support. Every day, he grew stronger and more sure of himself.

Mai made it a point to take him out to the garden every day, as long as the weather was fair. They would sit under a tree in the shade, talking for hours until the sun began to dip below the horizon. Zuko finally opened up to her fully, explaining why he had hid the visits to his father from her.

“I was afraid you’d be so upset with me…” he lamented, “I was afraid you’d think I was being stupid.”

“I think it was a little stupid,” Mai responded softly, “But I would’ve been able to understand had you just spoken to me about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Zuko apologized for what felt like the millionth time, but he still didn’t feel like it was enough, “I lost sight of you among everything else – and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that. Hiding things in fear of losing you – that’s what made me lose you.”

“But I’m here now,” she reminded him, caressing his cheek to turn his gaze to hers, “You didn’t lose me forever.”

“That’s true,” he smiled a little before continuing, “But things are so different now…” Zuko trailed off, looking away from her once again. Mai could tell he had more to say, but she felt it would be better not to push it too much. She shifted her own gaze to the fountain in front of them, before opening her mouth to speak.

“Is that so bad, though?” she asked, sounding afraid of the question, “Maybe…things had to change.”

“You’re probably right,” Zuko sighed, “But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He paused, hesitation in his eyes before he took a deep breath to continue:

“Has everything changed?” he asked, “Even…the way you feel? About me?”

“Are you asking if I still love you?” Mai answered, quicker than the young man had expected her to. He turned to look at her, and blinked once in shock before simply nodding in response. His eyes widened even more when the woman leaned forward to tenderly place her lips on his.

“Probably more now than ever before,” Mai breathed as she pulled away to rest her forehead against his. Her hands traveled up to his jaw, her thumbs gently caressing his cheeks.

“I tried to deny it for so long,” she continued, a stray tear slowly travelling down to her chin. “And I hate that it took – all _this_ for me to finally pull my head out of my ass about it.” Zuko couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh at this phrase, while he lifted his thumb to wipe the tear from his love’s eye.

“Of _course_ I still love you,” Mai said before kissing him once more. This time, the Fire Lord didn’t hesitate, returning the gesture in earnest while moving his free hand to tangle into her flowing inky locks. After their moment of bliss, and a contented sigh, Zuko spoke again.

“Does this mean you’ll give me another chance?” he asked hesitantly, “I know don’t deserve it – don’t deserve _you_ – but if you’d just let me –” He was cut off with another kiss, more fervent and strong than the last two. He took this as a yes.

* * *

The day when Zuko was to finally address his nation again, for the first time since he was attacked, his nerves had kept him up through most of the night. He was pacing the room as the sun rose, when suddenly a familiar pair of arms encircled his waist from behind.

“Please relax,” Mai purred, planting a soft kiss on his bare shoulder, “Come back to bed. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Zuko turned into her embrace, breathing in her soft scent. He kissed her forehead, then her nose, then finally her lips.

“I’m just so nervous,” he admitted, holding her tight to him, “There’s so many people out there who wanted to see my funeral.”

“But so many more who are incredibly grateful you’re still here,” Mai reminded him, “Think of _them_ when you speak – you’re doing this for them.”

“I’m doing this for you,” he pulled away to look into her eyes, “I’m doing this _because_ of you. Thank you.”

“I know I’m pretty great,” Mai smirked before turning more sincere, “But you have to remember that there’s a whole people out there rooting for you to become the great leader you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right there with you every step of the way.”

“Thank you,” Zuko repeated, before letting Mai lead him back into their bed for even the briefest amount of rest.

* * *

Later, when Zuko would address the people from his balcony, Mai would be right by his side. At every royal banquet, every meeting with diplomats, and every sunset and every sunrise, she was always there to reassure and comfort him. He could look to her and remember exactly who he needed, and _wanted_ , to become. At first, it was to prove to her and his people that he was not a failure. Eventually, she helped him prove that to himself, too. And a year later, when they stood at the altar before their family, their friends, and their nation, he promised to always do the same for her; for as long as he was breathing, he was loving her. And she loved him, too.


End file.
